Saturday, 1 April 2017

Crowdcube funded company sells for £33m

In what Crowdcube's Luke Lang is hailing as a world first, Cashmeout Ltd, which funded on the platform in 2013, has been bought by a Swiss Bank for £330m - giving Crowdcube investors a return of  300X.

The company, which sells derivative biscuits, is chaired by Donald Trump's sister. Plans to open in the US had been brought forward following the Mr Trumps election. As a result the company received instant SEC accreditation - a move all commentators thought was perfectly normal given their penchant for chocolate creams . 'It's going to be beautiful', Ms Trump said of the recent sale....apparently.

Crowdcube, the worlds most successful equity crowdfunding company, has had many successes - you wouldnt believe how many they have had. But nothing on this scale. Both Luke Lang and Darren Westlake were available for comments - 24/7- and have been put forward for knighthoods for services to the Nation.

Investors have been warned that HMRC will be checking the SEIS paperwork for this company, which Crowdcube had forgotten to file. 'Its not important' stated Luke Lang. According to filings at Companies House, Cashmeout Ltd went into liquidation in 2014 and the Liquidators are still to complete. ' Its not important either' stated Luke Lang. President Trump's sister, Natasha Rostovia-Trump, could not be found for comment. 


  1. Not to mention the Russian connections.

  2. April 1st - Right I get it now !!!!

    Hahah !